Clockwork, Santa Claus, Squire Boone Jr.

Published 1:31 pm Wednesday, November 9, 2016

As the song writer once asked, “Does anybody really know what time it is?”

Obviously, we didn’t last week.

Twice a year our newspapers prompt our readers to change their clocks to keep in touch with the swings in daylight savings time.

The ditty is simple, “Spring Forward” in spring and “Fall Back” in autumn.

Everybody knows it. But in 32 point type last week, the Davie County Enterprise Record urged readers to “Fall Forward.”

The office phone was already ringing Wednesday morning when we opened to point out our dyslexic error. The phone kept ringing all day and into Thursday. And Friday. I got texts into the night. Facebook posts noted our error. Sunday morning at church I heard about it.

I hope you’re not still two hours off.

We regret the error, and obviously all of us at the newspaper could use two extra hours of sleep. Even three.

• • • •

Spotted on our recent trip to see grandsons … In Sullivan, Ill., population 4,469, on US 32 on the First Apostolic Church street sign: “Jesus is coming soon. Hopefully before the election.”

We drove through southern Indiana and southern Illinois in farm country and spotted hundreds of Trump signs. I didn’t see a Clinton sign until we got into the cities, and then very few. Indiana has been projected as a Trump state. Illinois, despite the farmers’ preference for Trump, is supposed to go for Clinton because of the massive urban vote around Chicago that dominates the rest of the state.

We noted another church sign in Cisni, Ill., population 673: “Service every Sunday.”

• • • •

On I-64 in southern Indiana we spotted the exit for the town of Santa Claus, population, 2,481, The town was originally dubbed “Santa Fe,” but the U.S. Postal Service rejected the name because that was already taken. It was changed to “Santaclaus” in 1895 and later divided to be commercially correct. Children send thousands of letters to Santa Claus every year, and they all get responses.

Move to Santa Claus if you want your son to grow up to be a quarterback. Both Jay Cutler of the Chicago Bears and Hall of Famer Bob Griese are from there.

• • • •

South of Santa Claus, I may have been exceeding the speed limit on Interstate 64 when I zipped past a sign that I thought read “Squire Boone.”

The second sign — and the third — confirmed it. Squire Boone Caverns. Squire Boone Zipline. Squire Boone …. next exit.

Wasn’t Squire Boone resting comfortably in Joppa Cemetery in Mocksville? What heresy is this?

It seems, Old Dan’l’s lesser known brother, Squire Jr., also left Mocksville to explore the wilderness. He helped Daniel blaze the Wilderness Road through the Cumberland Gap and open the wilderness for settlers much like his better known brother around Mississippi, what is now Louisville, Ky., and southern Indiana.

Squire Jr. was badly injured in an Indian attack and was too hurt to flee with other settlers to what they hoped would be safety. He and his family stayed behind. The others were massacred in 1781 at what is now Shelbyville, Ky.

The Boones had a thing for caves. Like the cave on the Yadkin River, there’s a cave in Indiana — now a tourist attraction — where Squire Jr. found shelter from Indian attacks and was buried in a coffin he made for himself. He was deeply religious, built the first Baptist church in Indiana in 1807 and performed the first marriage in Kentucky.

• • • •

We took a new southern route to Decatur, Ill. — 800 miles — spending the night in Lexington, Ky. We had dinner at the OBC Kitchen, which proved to be more of a Kentucky Bourbon bar than eatery. About 100 Bourbons and 200 whiskeys were stocked, priced from $5 to $200 for an ounce serving. Bourbon and thoroughbred horses — and the Boone brothers — have made Kentucky. I also enjoyed the political commercials on the hotel TV for Sen. Rand Paul, my first pick for the GOP nomination for president.

— Dwight Sparks