Resolutions for Trump, Pelosi, editorial writers

Published 12:00 am Thursday, January 3, 2019

But there are some folks out there who could use 2019 to turn over a new leaf.

Let’s start at the top.

Donald Trump. I’m probably not the one to suggest this because I’ve had the same hairstyle since 1824, but the man needs a new look. Less orange. Less comb over. If you’re gray, be proud. If you’re bald, be proud. Again, I’m probably not the best to make these recommendations. I have a head full of hair with little gray, but I didn’t get married until I was 45 and never had to worry about losing millions and billions of dollars, only whether there’s enough money in the account to pay the power bill. Maybe I should be more gray.

Nancy Pelosi. See above. Yes, Nancy Pelosi and Donald Trump need the same resolutions. Her look needs updating, at least to the point to where we can tell if she’s real or a hologram.

Federal representatives. It’s difficult to imagine that 2019 could be any worse. These folks are forgetting that they work for us, the people. They shouldn’t work for a political party. They should work for us. They shouldn’t work for political power, but for us. Goodness gracious, if one side wants $5 billion for border security and the other side wants $1.3 billion, there’s no need to shut down the government, to close our parks and put tens of thousands out of a paycheck. Make it a little over $3 billion and move on. It’s called compromise, and we’ve lost that in our federal government and in our local discussions about the federal government. Folks have taken a side and aren’t budging. Neither side seems too concerned about the deficit unless it’s the other side who has ideas that makes it go up.

NASCAR. There’s never been a sport destined to shoot itself in the foot the way NASCAR has been doing in recent years. Sure, they’ve got young drivers and lots of hype, but not lots of young fans excited about the sport. With today’s entertainment options, it is difficult to convince someone it is fun to watch drivers turn left at 150-200 mph for three hours. Some of it has to do with car brand loyalty, once strong but now weak. Some of it has to do with young people. We used to live for the day we got our driver’s license. Nowadays, some kids have little desire to drive a car, much less the same car brand as their favorite driver. NASCAR needs to realize that old wine-and-cheese guys in big-city offices shouldn’t be making decisions that create entertainment for the beanie weanie and beer crowd. Leave them alone and let them race.

Network newscasts. There are few of these left, especially in the mornings. In between the opinions of the highly-paid TV faces, you can find bits and pieces of news, but not enough. Keep your opinions off of the air. Save those for your personal conversations. If Trump tweets something false, report it. Get an opinion from each side then leave it alone. After all, it’s likely to happen again soon. Your opinion doesn’t matter any more than that of Charles Barkley or Kanye West.

Editorial writers. My advice to them is to set the bar low as 2019 begins. Then, there’s no way to go but up. (This is a pretty good start, right?) Quit trying to reason with people. They’re unreasonable. They’re set in their opinions and you’re not going to change any of them. Remember that the sage advice you offer isn’t sage (having, showing or indicating profound wisdom) to everyone.

Editorial page readers. Remember the editorial page is meant for opinions — not necessarily your opinion alone. And whoever the president is, Republican or Democrat, man or woman, black or white, they are going to be fodder for cartoonists. And your editorial writer may not be the brightest light bulb in the room, but they’re doing their best at being sage.